I was travelling on my 2-wheeler last night (~3AM), when a man asked me for a lift. I didn't stop.
There was no thinking involved. It was an impulse decision. But the impulse is a by product of so much that happened before. Especially, stories I heard about muggings that happened in Bangalore. Systematically, they had broken down a simple act of helping another person by making use of the feeling in itself*.
Anyway, my post was not to provide an excuse of why I did not stop my vehicle. Accounting for 80-20 probability (80 being, the man really needed a lift), I could have stopped the vehicle. But after I passed on, I felt very sad at what transpired.
So my question is, what can we do to rebuild this trust between two human beings. Especially when it costs close to nothing to help another? If I review the kind of things that are doubt prone today, it is mind boggling:
- If someone asks to watch over their bags where they step out for a moment
- If someone offers some food or snacks on the bus or train out of genuine friendliness
- If someone asks for a lift on the road
- If someone asks for five rupees to get a bus ticket back home
Can we undo the damage and bring back a trusting environment? Or beyond repair?
* - In Bangalore, they used to mug people by posing as a desperate bystander needing help. The courteous ones who stopped got mugged. Then as news spread, people started to not stop. So, the muggers enlisted a woman to stop the car. It is much harder to not stop when a desperate woman is asking for help in the night. Then, the courteous ones got mugged again. Today, no one stops. So, a really needy person owing to whatever circumstances is bound to be ignored at night.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
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2 comments:
“Can we undo the damage and bring back a trusting environment? Or beyond repair?”
I think, the answer for this question entirely depend on us. This is because the environment is us only. If we can undo this damage with in ourselves, it is done on the environment also. For undoing it with in ourselves, we do not need any action from any body else.
And the far most important issue is whether we help the other person or not, but to see that there is no scare of that incident left with in our brain/memory/mind. How is it possible when this is a burning issue? It is possible when we completely understand the issue and the reason for our reaction to this issue.
As far as this incident is concerned, we have some knowledge of what is happening in Bangalore. Now we superimpose that happening in Bangalore for the environment in Chennai also. The possibility is that it can happen or not happen in Chennai. But as we are seeing this with the knowledge of what is happening in Bangalore, we tend to think it may happen in Chennai also.
Why do we think that it may happen to us also? Basically it is the fear with in us. The fear may be either the fear of being physically hurt or if we need to fight back, the fear of having follow up legal actions or so many similar fears depend on the person who is facing the issue.
To avoid the scare of this incident within our mind, we have to see the nature of the issue as well as the nature of us (In this case, the fear). When we do this, there will not be any choice to choose or it will not be the spur of the moment, but we act. It will be the result of our intelligence. Because, we understand the situation as well as understand the nature of ourselves. Now what ever be the result of that action, we are completely in charge of that action and there will not be any scare within our mind. If our action is to avoid the person asking the help, the avoidance is the action aroused due to the complete understanding of our nature, the fear we have and hence there will not be any scare left in our mind. If our action is to help that person and turn out it to be mugging, in this case also, there is no fear with in us to face the situation and hence face it with complete intensity, with out leaving any scare in our mind.
The beauty of such understanding is that we will be able to assess the situation very quickly (Our assessment may or may not be correct with respect to the other person, that doesn’t matter) and act immediately. The action out of this assessment does not leave any scare with in our mind, what ever be that action and its result.
“So my question is, what can we do to rebuild this trust between two human beings. Especially when it costs close to nothing to help another?”
This is possible when we have complete freedom from our so called ego! Or it depend on how far we are willing to gain freedom from our ego. Ego in the sense, our “I” centeredness, our fear, our beliefs and our thoughts.
Thanks!
"Change",
Incisive analysis (as usual)!
I must thank you for one critical insight - that being, if you are clear about the situation and the fact that there is nothing much you can do about it, just let it go without harping on it.
However, there is another line of thought that needs to be addressed. Even assuming there is no fear of being mugged, it may not be wise to go through it (in other words, it is a stupid decision).
Fear of physical hurt/death is very primal. At some level, I understand that it can be transcended, but in the thick of the moment, bringing that kind of awareness would be a momentous achievement.
I can just say that the situation is not looking hopeful!
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